Our Boys Are Here!!!

Oh.... my...... gosh...... I don't even know where to begin.

PRE-OP

First of all, nothing went as planned on Monday as far as the operation, not that I really expected it to, but still. I was told I'd probably be monitored for about 2 hours beforehand, that that is standard procedure with a regular c-section. I woke up at 8:30, c-section was planned for 10:15, so I knew things were not going to be what I expected.

Pre-op stuff was fine, I didn't feel nervous, just anxious to get them out. Shane was so nervous, he kept pacing the room. I talked to the anesthesiologist and told him I wanted Zofran, so I wouldn't get sick. He told me he could also give me a different type of epidural, one that worked the same, but would just take longer to take effect, therefore taking away the sudden drop of blood pressure that often make women nauseous. Sounded good to me.

EPIDURAL  #1

I couldn't wait to get in the operating room, and even though I knew a lot of people would be in there, I was surprised by how many. I counted 12, I think, and that was just the people that were standing in front of me. The epidural was not as bad as I thought it would be, I have a high tolerance for needles, I guess (just not getting sick!). So, the anesthesiologist ask if my feet felt tingly and hot, I said yes, and was laid back for prep. The curtain went up, my stomach was covered, and my doctor poked my stomach with the knife and asked if I could still feel it. "Yes!" I'm sure I shouted. The anesthesiologist told her it would take a few more minutes, and what did he decide to talk to me about..... baseball.... and hockey. After a few more minutes, my doctor tried again. The anesthesiologist apologized and said he would have to try a different type of epidural. At this point, I didn't care, I wanted to get it over with. They had to take everything off me, get new "stuff" (sterilized stuff I guess), and I sat back up. Everyone was looking at me. I could only see people's eyes because of their masks, but I knew there were familiar people there with me. The practitioner that had been with me since the night I fell, and had repeatedly come in to help with the monitoring was holding me for the epidural. Shane wasn't allowed in yet. I felt like I was in that Twilight Zone episode where everyone had pig noses, but everyone had sympathetic eyes. One woman told me to hang in there- she was from the NICU, standing by one of the warming beds with blankets ready. 

EPIDURAL  #2

So they started another epidural, he had a hard time and kept injecting me in different areas. I could tell he was getting frustrated. He said that my spinal column was narrow, but he couldn't understand why the fluid wasn't going in (or something like that). Anyway, he got it in, they got me back down, all prepped up and after a few minutes, my doctor poked me again. Annnnnd I still felt it. He apologized, said they would give it a few minutes, and if it didn't work, they would have to knock me out. At this point, I didn't care. It was making me more and more nervous that it didn't seem to be working, and I just wanted to get it over with and have them out. The practitioner looked at me and laughed, "Did you really expect this to end easily?" 

THEY'RE  OUT

Another anesthesiologist came in and explained that he was going to give me something and to relax. I remember him patting my hand and saying, "goodnight". Then what felt like a few seconds later, I heard them saying, "Katie, Katie, take deep breaths" and "Your babies are fine."

AFTERWARDS

I was in and out for a little while. They kept reassuring me that the babies were fine. I saw Shane coming in and out. And then the woman who did my pre-op stuff was taking me to my room. Shane followed and then was able to tell me about our boys. He wasn't allowed in because I was under anesthesia, but he was allowed to follow them up to the NICU. I couldn't go see them till I had recovered further, and this broke my heart.

OUR BABIES

Shane had taken many pictures and he showed them to me in my "new" hospital room. Baby A (formally B) is Nolan Shane, born at 11:05 am, 17 inches long, 4 lb. 14 oz. Baby B (formally A) is Brooks Readmond, born at 11:06 am, 17 1/4 inches long, 3 lb. 15 oz. They both have blonde hair! I was shocked. They were both born breathing on their own and they even cried! Which we didn't expect at all.  Shane went up to see them often that day... I was supposed to sleep and drink. : (

Nolan

We met with doctors, nurses, the neonatologist, and various other people from the hospital throughout the day. 

Long story short, I wasn't able to go up until 11:30 that night. The one nurse suggested just relaxing through the night and going in the morning. My night nurse told me that if I wanted to go up, to eat dinner, take more pain medicine, put on my binder, and go up then because I would be most comfortable.  I couldn't stand not seeing them on their birth day, so I went up. It wasn't as scary as I thought. But again, I've had a lot of family members 

in the NICU, much worse off than our boys.

                                                                                                                       Brooks

The neonatologist told us to expect them to be jaundiced, explained that they may go on the respirator, but at the moment they are on a C-Pap breathing room air, they are getting fluids, but doing as well as they expected - good news to me! 

SINCE THEN

The boys haven't needed the respirator yet. They continue to breathe room air, but are on the C-Pap for extra support for pressure in their lungs. Their tests came back high for the red blood count, so they are under the bilirubin lights. Brooks is in an                                                      
 incubator to keep his temperature up, but Nolan is in a crib.                                       

Today, they upped their food intake. They were only given about 5cc (1 tsp) of formula a feeding, to see how their stomach would digest it. So today they were going to try and up it, they've done so well that they went from 5 cc, to 10, to 15! Which is about a tablespoon. They are fed through a feeding tube. But tonight they were given pacifiers and they are both able to suck!

 We were both able to hold Nolan yesterday afternoon. We are only allowed to hold them during their care time, as to not over-disturb them. Last night I was able to hold Brooks. I was overwhelmed by what that 1 pound weight difference made. It broke my heart to see him with all the wires and tubes on him. It hurt to see Nolan like that, but I think with Brooks- he just seems so much smaller and more delicate it really overwhelmed me. 

THE 32 WEEK DEBATE

I am so thankful I listened to my doctor. The cords were a mess. I saw the cords everyday and we monitored their heart rates 3 times a day. There was no "obvious" cord entanglement, just "twisting" and NO heart decelerations. Everything appeared to be going so well. Everyone said we were so lucky to take them out when we did. I know that it seemed I could keep going, and I know this is a big debate with this situation. My husband and I did not feel it was worth the risk of losing one of our babies everyday to keep them out of the NICU. 

The cords were so bad that 2 doctors had to get them out at the same time, as to not risk pulling one out and harming the other from tightening the cords. 

There was also no twin to twin transfusion. The placenta was sent away to a lab to be analyzed. It seemed that when the cords were implanted, A's/ Nolan's (old B's) was stuck to a thicker part of the placenta, whereas B's/ Brooks' (old A's) was attached to a smaller part, causing a small cord to form.

THANK YOU

Anyway, I am so incredibly thankful for all the thoughts and prayers. I know we have a long road ahead, and not every day will be as wonderful as these have been. But I cannot thank all of you enough for everything you have done for us. It makes me cry just to see the support and love so many people have for us and our babies. I know they are doing so well because of the power of these prayers. 

I'm going to try and keep everyone updated. It's been hard, I'm very tired and busy trying to get better. But you all deserve to be updated. 

Thank you and we love you all!

Busy

Since this past weekend I have been so incredibly busy! I was kind of exhausted today, but being so busy really helped to make the days go by faster.

So Saturday, my whole family was at my grandfather's funeral. I probably would have been more upset about it at the time, but I was having all my monitoring done, so I really wasn't able to think about it. It still upsets me that I wasn't able to go. The whole situation doesn't feel real to me because I was not able to live it. I don't think the reality of it all will sink in until I am around my whole family and he is not there. But, I had my father, stepmother and step sister visit on Saturday. And some of my family came by after the funeral. Shane actually recorded parts of the ceremony on his phone for me so I could see some of it- which I really, really appreciate. I haven't had time to watch it yet, but maybe it will bring me some closure.

On the weekends I don't go to the prenatal diagnostic area of the hospital for the dopplers, I go to the radiology unit. The tech up there does the sonogram, and then sends the numbers to the director of the prenatal diagnostic center (who's at home), and then she gets back to my nurses and they tell me how it went. The tech is not as familiar with my situation, but she told me both Saturday and Sunday that the numbers appeared to be similar to the ones they retrieved during the week.

Sunday my in-laws came by with lunch, and my grandparents, and one of my aunts. Sunday was also the Ravens playoff game.....

Monday I had more family stop by and all the usual testing, which went fine. That night more people came by, including an old co-worker of mine who brought me prayer cards and games to play! Things to do and things to eat are the perfect gifts in here.

Tuesday was the biophysical profile and neither one of them passed. Neither one would practice breathing. They each have to breathe for 30 seconds straight. A would breathe for 15, then stop. Then he would breathe for 20 seconds, then stop. I'm curious to see how these personalities they seem to be showing already will stick when they are born. My doctor was also not happy with the heart rate strips on Tuesday. She likes to see big changes in reactive rates, and they appeared to be sleeping for the first 2 strips that day. I was pretty worried about it, even though the nurse said there was obvious movement and changes in heart rate. My day time nurse had to hold the boys on, especially A, for both of the 2 hour strips. My aunt had brought me lunch and spent the day with me. And I had more visitors Tuesday night!

Wednesday I woke up and ate 2 donuts- hoping that would get them going- and it did! During the dopplers, B breathed the ENTIRE time! When the director came in to do her check after the tech, she said that the girl who did them in radiology over the weekend noted that they had both breathed. It just figures, that when it counts, they don't do it. But the director said at least I know they do DO it, if I didn't come in so frequently, I'd probably be more concerned. I was reminded of why I am so glad I am in here being monitored so often. Their strips were much better, too, I'm sure on account of the donuts. My step mother brought me lunch, I had another co-worker visit, and my mom brought me dinner. Another day of guests!

Today I was EXHAUSTED- mentally, emotionally, and physically. I didn't realize how physically exhausted I'd be in here. I thought I'd be sleeping, laying around, getting plenty of rest. But these boys are draining me in ways I can't describe. Plus, it is very hard to be so aware of what is going on, what people are talking about, what your schedule is from day to day, and trying to keep my life somewhat normal while I'm in here. I can't help but watch the monitors while they are doing the heart rate strips, my eyes are glued to the screens when they are doing the dopplers and profiles, and then I try to keep my little room neat, and keep my things organized.

The dopplers of the cords were fine today but they said A's numbers were a little high, still in the normal range, but high- like a 4.2, which means he may not be getting as much nutrients as B. The director didn't seem concerned, but I was freaking out. I took a 4 hour nap when I got back (and after the strips) and when my doctor came to see me, she wasn't worried about it all. She just told me to keep eating.

Let's see how they do with the biophysical profile tomorrow.....