Thinking

There was another article about our boys today. They are getting very popular!

This is just a boring blog about some things going through my head. Sorry...

During the day, I am in such "mommy mode" that I sort of forget all we went through the past few months. As much as I want to spread 'momo' information around, I don't want it to define our lives, especially not Nolan's and Brooks'. But every once in awhile, like when an article comes out,  or there's this balloon that a tech gave me in the high risk unit that is still floating around the house ( 2 months later), that I think back to every day of the pregnancy. What a stressful, miserable, emotional couple of months. But I look at the boys and know I wouldn't do anything differently. 

And then there are the wedding pictures around our house. I look at them and think, "Little did we know...", or "how stupid were we to think all of that stuff was important..." 

Here we are! Before babies! <3

Things I didn't expect: 

There are certain things that I sometimes still feel like I have to do. Most of all, run to the hospital when I wake up in the morning, or call the NICU at night. I feel naked once in awhile without the boys' hospital bracelets on (I think other NICU moms can relate to that). Then there are the things I cringe at the thought of- having the goo put on my stomach for an ultrasound or test, taking my temperature, or even certain commercials I remember hearing when I was having the NST's done! My hands are still so dry and sore from "scrubbing in" to the NICU, I know I still look exhausted from the hospital stay (I sleep better now than I have in months!), and there's a shampoo I can't use anymore because I always showered after my last test at 11pm, and the smell of it makes me tense up and feel stressed. Sometimes I even still feel like I have to save the boys' diapers to be weighed! 

Anyway, we had our wedding photographer take pictures of the boys last Thursday. I can't wait to see them! Easter is Sunday and I can't wait to get them all dressed up and dye Easter eggs, and all the other fun stuff. I had a baby shower last weekend and I'm having another one this weekend. It feels so good to get the nursery together and have a lot of things for the boys!


I couldn't be happier having 2 babies. Yes, I am busy, but I love it. They are such well-behaved babies, too! And yes, everyone says, "just wait...", but I can't wait. I can't wait for the chaos! To see them home, to see them crawling, to see them fighting over toys, to see them walking, eating, crying, all of it, is what I dreamed of when I was being monitored.