Last Day at Home

I just finished watching the Ravens game, as sad as it was, I can't believe we won. I'm trying to relax and pretend it's like a normal day but it's hard knowing I won't be here for awhile. I hate hospitals, but I know I'm doing this for my boys. I'm just having a weird mix of emotions- I hate the idea of being there, but I can't wait to be there and be able to have the boys monitored a few times daily. I'm packing up things to keep me busy, Shane's getting the laundry done, and I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever the next couple of weeks bring.

Everything went fine again on Friday. The nurse we had this time had a hard time finding B's heart rate, and when she left the room to get the sonogram technician, Shane was able to find it. We're getting so used to this, they might as well just let us do it ourselves! And of course, I can see it happening already, they're going to behave whenever he's around.

I'm trying to think of all the positives of this experience, the main one being that becoming an inpatient seems to work as far as delivering. If something happens at any point during my monitoring, I'll be right there to get those babies out right away, and that is the biggest comfort. When I begin to think of the meaningless things- like not being in my own home, or my bed, or having privacy, or things like that- I try and remember that this can be just a time for me to relax. I'm bringing my kindle and some other books I've held off reading, cause Lord knows I won't have time to read for a long time once the boys get here. I won't have to worry about laundry getting done, or if there are dishes in the sink, or if someone needs to go the food store.

The thing that gets me the most is that I won't be able to go to my grandfather's funeral. He's in a semi-comatose state right now, we're just waiting for a phone call. He's always been there for me -when I was sick, or having school problems, he was there when Shane proposed, he remembered and knew everything about me. I think my family is glad I won't be able to go, but it breaks my heart.

Well, I'm going to go watch this other game. I'll let everyone know how tomorrow goes.